To Serve Man

To Serve Man

Carpe diem appears to be dead (unless the new meaning is seize someone else’s day, as a vicarious experience, of course — not hands-on or anything that dangerous). I say this because recently I was sitting in a restaurant where a young woman and some friends were...
Hook a Brother Up with Some Teeth

Hook a Brother Up with Some Teeth

I’ve been using that “hook a brother up” line for the past couple of years, ever since I heard a witless dolt say to an apparent acquaintance, “Hook a brother up with a beer.” We were happy-houring in the fenced in confines of an insanely crowded outside bar at a...
How to Sell the Plague 10

How to Sell the Plague 10

Chapter 1 Tenth Installment   Now I Are One             Because here I am sitting across the desk of Mr. Mac McGlinn once again. “Do you know why you’re here today?” Mac asks. “Because I want to work for your company selling yellow pages...
How to Sell the Plague 10

How to Sell the Plague 9

Chapter 1 Ninth Installment   Down and Out, Part 2   Then he tosses me a cheap, blue pen. “Sell me this pen,” he challenges. The sales puke had prepped me for this situation. He told me that interviewers will sometimes hand you an object from the...
How to Sell the Plague 10

How to Sell the Plague 8

Chapter 1 Eighth Installment   Down and Out, Part 1 Okay, so that’s not exactly how I put it to Mac McGlinn, word for word, but it’s the gist of what I said. “Is that a true story?” Mac asks. “Yes, it is.” “Interesting,”...