Carpe diem appears to be dead (unless the new meaning is seize someone else’s day, as a vicarious experience, of course — not hands-on or anything that dangerous). I say this because recently I was sitting in a restaurant where a young woman and some friends were...
I’ve been using that “hook a brother up” line for the past couple of years, ever since I heard a witless dolt say to an apparent acquaintance, “Hook a brother up with a beer.” We were happy-houring in the fenced in confines of an insanely crowded outside bar at a...
If you need to be reminded or encouraged to vote, please don’t. We already have enough lazy, stupid voters electing plenty of lazy, stupid people. If you are one of those who has to be told to vote, I’m sure you’d be much happier staying home, relaxing, watching The...
If you don’t believe we’ve gone batshit crazy, then you’re batshit crazy. Let’s go crazy, let’s get nuts. Look for the purple banana ’til they put us in the truck. Those fun folks at the Associated Press are at it again. Their imaginative stylebook (subtitled...
Will Rodgers once said, “Eventually you reach a point when you stop lying about your age and start bragging about it.” I don’t think I’ve reached that age yet, but I’ve certainly reached a point where I’m bragging about my friends: You’re the best! Thank you for...
